As Leo @ Zen Habits often points out, simplicity sometimes comes with eliminating commitments. For some of you, it sounds like jobs were simply another commitment you just can’t handle when you had kids. The alternative, as MB points out, would be running around in a rush trying to get to everything at once.

All difficult considerations, and very much a balancing act and personal choice for all…

That being said, I wanted to stay home for at least the first year, then have the choice after that. We started living off of only my husband’s income early to make sure we could do it. When I became pregnant, we started banking my salary and also using some of it buy the baby things to get the nursery set up (more of the one-time expenses).

After a year, I decided to remain home and we’ve been fine. I found that we have saved in other areas because I’m not working (eating out, fuel, my work clothes). Plus, we save on entertainment simply because we can’t go out like we used to now that we have kids.

I also feel that our household runs a lot smoother (for us) since we don’t have to rush in the mornings getting kids ready for daycare or in the evenings, rushing to get dinner on the table and the kids are in bed by 7:30pm. Personally, I think I would be a wreck trying to work outside the home and manage a household. Kudos to those families who do it….it would be really hard for me.

But, like the one commenter pointed out, I didn’t have a job that I totally loved either. I enjoyed parts of it, but as a whole, I don’t really miss it. For me, even though there are days I feel like I want to poke my ears out so I don’t have to hear the word “mommy” one more time, I do really want to be at home with my boys.

I do really miss making money though. I would love to find a way to make money and stay home.

A couple of you have also brought up another great point of discussion – how much time you took off once your baby was born. In today’s economy, it’s become increasingly difficult for many to take a lot of time off above and beyond any saved up vacation and sick time, and maternity leave is very limited in the U.S. I’m curious about how many of you dealt with this initial period after birth.

Thanks for commenting Julie!

1. I make a substantial income. I make almost as much as my husband does.
2. I took off until my child was 5 months before I put her in daycare.
3. The daycare is subsidized by work and I go see her at least 2 times in the day.
4. My husband travels for work or works from home so it is nice for me to come to work and put her in daycare vs. being alone at home when he is gone.
5. I get a sense of fulfillment from my career.

I have worked part-time or on weekends when I had the need to get out of the house or wanted the extra $, but even when we were making $20K a year we didn’t need for me to work.

We have 4 kids so I would have to have a super high paying career to justify daycare/after school care, etc.

I am glad that we started our family fairly young (age 21 and 20) but it is tough to see older parents who have much higher means than we do.

I’m just now getting to the point in my life where I’m thinking about my career. Since my kids are such a big part of my life, I’ve opted to find some non-traditional approaches to working like blogging, and having my own small business.

The other bonus is we never had 2 incomes, so someday when we do (and the kids are older/grown) we’ll be in fantastic shape.

I should say too my husband worked really hard for a few years (in school and working FT, putting in overtime, etc.) and is now in a wonderful position of being able to work 9-5 most of the time, with little travel, and plenty of vacation/sick time.

(if you read my book congrats!)

The last thing you want to do is to grow resentment within you for your situation, your spouse, or your children because they “keep you” from achieving your dreams.

Your point about your Dad brings up a very interesting consideration – the parent that continues to work has to do so much harder, in many cases, than if the workload was more evenly distributed. What starts as a good-hearted effort to connect more with your kids may actually back-fire in the way you describe.

Thanks so much for your input on this!

I’m not saying that being a stay home mom is bad. In fact, if that’s what makes you happy, that’s what you should do. It’s just not for me. Also because I work, my partner doesn’t have to work as hard and we’re both able to enjoy our kids. When I was growing up, my dad worked hard so my mom could stay home. I didn’t get to know my dad until I was in my teens.

When we had our kid 2 months ago, my wife stopped working to be a stay at home mom. It’s probably the best thing for our daughter, and even though it’s more financially tight than before, the amount of money my wife was bringing home as a preschool teacher is about the same it would cost to have a full-time babysitter or daycare.

Probably the most difficult thing is doing this all is that we had health insurance through my wife’s employer, and my employer has us in a 10% paycut period. So, we’re making it, but we have to be more frugal than ever.