I’m not a single parent, but I’ve been supporting a family of four on my income for more than 20 years. It was really hard starting out, but we made it work on very little. I just went to garage sales and bought a crib and a high chair for $20. Fancy isn’t necessary to raise a child.

A couple of things that I think are essential too:

Get child support help from the father if you can. I didn’t for both of my kids for a long time and when I did receive some years later with my oldest, it was a paltry amount but still something.

Go as bare bones as you can in the beginning. Kids grow so fast and they really don’t need all the things we think they do – or the things that friends have that we can’t afford. I think I spent less than $50 in the first four months after both my kids were born because I had no choice at the time.

In my experience, going back to University four months after my oldest son was born (I was 22) was the best thing I could have done. It offered a lot more flexibility in my schedule than working full time would have afforded.

Above all, don’t be afraid to ask for and get support in ways that are non-monetary as well as monetary. Whether that’s babysitting, hand-me-downs, a place to live, community support centers or just advice. I tried to DIY too much of it and it was just exhausting.

I know it’s hard to believe right now, but when you look back at this time, you’ll be so proud of how strong you’ve had to become to raise a little one on your own. I often wonder if I would have made the smart decision to go back to school if I wouldn’t have become pregnant. Being responsible for another human being pushes you to think of the future and how you want to raise that child. Focus on the positives if you can.
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Remember also that the cost of a child includes a larger, safer car, a roomier house in a better school district, and more. In her situation, it necessitates paying for child care and more miles commuting because no one else can help her out with that.

If you haven’t created a budget, now’s the time to do it.
1. Write down your fixed expenses, the one’s you can’t do much about, like rent/mortgage, heat, hydro, water, home phone, insurance, etc.
2. Remind yourself, if you’re not rock solid confident, what your take home pay is. Not your gross, your net. Let’s only worry about what you bring home and can spend rather than your before tax income.
3. Once you’re reasonably confident you’ve got that nailed down, create a second budget which is the post-baby budget. Presumably your income will change in the downward direction. Can you still balance your budget?
4. I don’t know your financial situation, but are you prepared to make tough decisions about the “nice to haves” in order to have stable “must haves”? If you have cell phone(s), cable TV, subscriptions, memberships.
5. Friends and family will want to be helpful, create a list of what you need for the babe, and pass it around. There truly are great deals out there on Craigslist as well as at second-hand baby/kid shops. Babies don’t use stuff for long enough to wear it out, it’s almost a waste to buy some stuff new!
6. If you have bills that are due semi-annually and are budget cripplers, try and deal with them monthly so it spreads it out a bit (house or car insurance?)

Bottom line is this – I don’t think anybody is ever really ready to have a child. Still, the children come. They are a blessing. From here on in, likely every decision you make, whether it’s financial or otherwise, will be in consideration of that wee babe. Good for you for starting to plan now.

If you need help crafting a budget, or getting started. Feel free to email me. I have a soft spot for single moms.